You work out of a Hotel?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
