these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
