"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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