i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize