you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
