okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
