would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize