Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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