I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
