they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
