So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize