i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Randomize
