What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
