The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
