Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
