he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
