Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
