Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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