Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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