420 ftw
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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