I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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