She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You ruined the universe
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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