I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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