"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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