Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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