well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
