just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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