yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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