Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
