just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
