why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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