I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
