don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
