Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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