Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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