1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
