Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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