Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
