my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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