In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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