Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Porn is love you can see.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
