He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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