Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
