Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
