So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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