there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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