literally had 100 drinks last night.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
