CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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