the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
