My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
