Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
