I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
