This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
