So drunk its hurt
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
