Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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