do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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