She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
