After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
