yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His hands were made for my vagina.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
