party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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