oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
