Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize