Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
