So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
