I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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