dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
