If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
