I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
