A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
