i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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